For divorced parents, the hardest times of the year are often during the holidays. For certain holidays – like the fast approaching Father’s Day on June 19 – how the holiday can be made a joyous occasion might seem elusive. This is especially true for parents who are not on good terms with one another or have disagreements about custody.
Whatever your relationship with your ex-spouse, here are some tips for a positive Father’s Day after divorce for divorced dads.
Put Your Child First
Remember, Father’s Day is as much about your child as it is about you (the father). While you understandably want to spend the day with your child, if push comes to shove with your child’s mother, let it go – nothing is worth a huge fight, especially one that your child witnesses. For children of divorce, it is essential that their parents handle any conflicts privately, and never put the child in the middle.
Make a Plan
Do not wait until the last minute to contact your child’s mother and attempt to formulate a plan for Father’s Day. Instead, meet with your child’s mother in advance to figure out how the day will be spent. Will you split the day? Will the whole family – mom included – spend it together? Is your child’s mother remarried, and a stepdad will be part of Father’s Day plans? The more you make a plan in advance, the smoother things will go when the day comes.
Let Kids Take the Lead
An article in The Huffington Post, quoting author and family therapist Jude Bijou, suggests letting kids take the lead when it comes to Father’s Day planning. This can be especially helpful for parents who are not on the best of terms, as mom’s not left planning the whole day for dad.Instead, the kids play a more active role. The more the children get to plan, the more it will mean to them as well.
Call or Skype
In some cases, children do not live near their father and getting together for Father’s Day isn’t possible. If this is the case for you and your child, the day can still be made special with a phone call or Skype (or other form of video chat) call. When children are living with only one parent after divorce and custody is not equally split, it is very important that the child still maintains a healthy and strong relationship with the other parent.
Help for Divorced Fathers in North Carolina
If you are going through a divorce or are a recently divorced dad in North Carolina and have questions about child custody or fathers’ rights, our passionate family law attorneys can advise you. To schedule a consultation to learn what you need to know about your rights during or after a divorce, contact The Armstrong Law Firm, P.A. offices today using our online form.